Everything is amplified within the Kundalini awakening none more so than the emotional traumas. Inside of our pain and our sorrow there can be confusion and blame and deep, very deep, hurt and injury to our self worth and our self expectations and our understandings of what love is expected to be. We can ask:
“Why? How? Did this happen?” “Why am I here alone?”
Yes I have authentic experience having been allowed to ask these very same questions earlier in my process. Inside of this Kundalini amplification of emotional isolation and pain the answers I give may not be enough to plug the hole you may be experiencing at this time. And they shouldn’t. They are there for your personal process to discover. These rips into your heart are there for the divine exaltation through the release of toxic programming and information – a conduit of release from mundane concepts that cannot co exist with the enlightenment process that comes with the Kundalini awakening.
But keep reading and the reasons will become clear that you must have this. It is a necessary part of the process of Kundalini awakening.
When we come into this experience within the emotional heart attachments one of the hardest lessons can be to detach from any kind of relationship that draws our attentions away from the transformations occurring within. Romances can be the first thing to go.
Not always but it does occur often enough especially when the relationship may not be as balanced as it could otherwise be. Or there is a karmic reason for this to occur.
By this I am describing a relationship where one person loves too much or one person loves too little or both expressions are being experienced within the relationship.
These Kundalini induced changes are the initiation of needed balances and reconciliations that we often cannot have while ensconced in a relationship. Emotional attachments can often hide or relieve the issues that come up from a source that is not of our own. We often need to be alone with this and authentic in our feeling and experience of these inner heart issues. This can allow us to come into our own answers and our own discernment of actions and reactions past and present within the many experiential agendas of our emotional expressions.
Bouncing off of a group or distant individual is not the same as having another person there twenty four hours a day and seven days a week. We in our stark emotional nakedness to the forces that are coming to bear from within us would naturally want to reach out for emotional sustenance and succor from another. Yet for some processes of the Kundalini awakening this cannot be allowed as it can rob us of the inner strengths that are being developed. Painful processes yet extremely important processes.
We will always take a path of least resistance in some of the hard and harsh emotionally traumatic experiences that can occur with the Kundalini awakening transformations. Sometimes the best experiences that can occur are those that happen to us and us alone. Alone at night in the depth of the darkness can we be given certain lessons of being alone with just “our thoughts” and “our feelings” and not be intertwined into those of another person. Or alone in the wilderness we are given certain messages that if others were there with us we would miss completely!
So Kundalini divinity will arrange for certain restraints upon an individual’s social discourse and emotional relationship in order to give the divine child the opportunity to reclaim from an individual and singular point of reference ways of understanding and experiences that are for them, and from them, to have by themselves alone. To have another there would be too much of a distraction and a potential source of attention that may not be appropriate or to the persons benefit at this time in their process.
This isn’t forever. But it is long enough for the work and the changes to be given and the refinements to be attained. I spent much time in this as I could not understand why I had to be alone and of what use that was as I was so acclimated to having the other person with me before this part of the process was to begin.
When we became separated – harshly separated – so that there was no chance of return to the relationship, this was when this part of the painful emotional transformation process began for me.
The heart is torn open and we meet our love as it flows down our chest. We bleed our love through tears and through the agony of remorse or abandonment or through merely being left alone.
Even within this pain it is a needed and necessary exposing of the limitations and programming and karma that we release when this occurs. We release the toxins of our emotional body within our heaving of despair and loneliness. From these empty shores does the Kundalini divine begin to rebuild and restructure our emotional body.
We become abandoned by our familiar love. We are given into an emotional situation with a person where this “will” occur -with just the right person for the task. We do not and cannot know it in advance as that would cheapen the lesson. No, we enter into it with the innocence of a child opening our hearts to the fullness of our love as much as we are able to do so. And just at the right moment the person of our loving expression will leave. Or will in some way be taken away from us. Leaving us to roil in the tumultuous crucible of heart break.
We are left alone to wander through the classrooms of self doubt and self pity and self hatred amid astonished heart rending emotional spasms of hurt and rejection. If we come to know what is occurring then our travel through these lessons can be more rapid but the lessons must be learned and the balances must be attained if we are to proceed.
This knowledge does come to us and we do progress. If we resist and struggle to reclaim that which has been taken then our speed comes to a pace that allows us to feel and experience the lessons within the pain that shape the way we come through it and towards the understandings behind the teaching. Sometimes we will struggle for some time in these areas. I know I did.
And after a time, the length of which is individual to us all, the divine healing and understandings begin to shine forth. It is of great importance that we be open and available to have the inner most areas of our emotional body reconstructed. We must have our emotional needs and desires redirected. We must be able to stand on our own emotional legs without the support of another in order to walk within the exaltation that is forming within all of the bodies of expression as given through the Kundalini awakening.
This is a big deal!
Most people never come out from under emotional bondage. They need too much or need too little. With Kundalini comes a resurrection of balance within self worth and knowledge. A grace of a divine understanding towards even greater values of love will come that are outside of action and reaction. Outside of need versus the satisfying of need. We are given far greater information and for this to be given our expected formats of emotional expression and reception will need to be transformed. So Kundalini does this whether we know it or understand it or not.
And we are given opportunities to forgive. We forgive our self and anyone else involved and this expression of divine love will become a very powerful balm for the person.
So it isn’t you and yet it is. Kundalini is at once part of you and at once part of a totally different divine structure of life expression. It is the aspect of your divinity that is transforming you from the deepest inner core of your emotions. From your needs as a person, to your expectations of love and what that means to you, to the fear of being alone or abandoned that all people share.
You are in the advanced school of divine evolution. The real deal. And inside of this advancement is the divine flame taking shape. Keep going my friend. There is so much more to your love that is awaiting your… transition. © chrism 2014
Kundalini Awakening Seminars 2014 New York City, NY /Ireland/Sr. Paul, Minnesota.