It’s been quite a week – a “stellar display” of the uptick of frequencies upon us, penetrating our world to its core.
This cottage, my shelter, seems to be dismantling its 3D self, for starters. A friendly but extremely noisy contractor has been in fairly constant presence here lately, trying to keep up with this disintegration. The dB of his various power tools combined with his blaring boom box is “somewhat distracting” to my typically peaceful world. But the house needs work and he’s its ‘surgeon’ so to speak. Just something to roll with for the duration.
While he’s been sawing, drilling, hammering, sanding, caulking etcetc, and totally unrelated to his commotion, the rod in my closet fell four times in one day, dumping all the clothes to the floor each time. It simply would not stay up. This has happened before, but it’s been fixable. This time extraordinary measures went into keeping that rod where it belongs… tho in its view of reality, it apparently no longer appreciates its gig!
That same day a favorite mug fell and broke into pieces, a raw egg rolled off the counter and splat on the floor, and an explosion of little ants started invading from numerous places I can’t even identify. It was crazy chaotic.
Also this week I was pulled into an extraordinary entanglement around something that someone wanted me to do on an ongoing basis. This “something” has an extremely negative emotional energy to me, and is one of the very last things on this earth that my soul would consider “mine to do.” The cost to my own well being would be profound. To someone else it might be exactly what makes their heart sing; exactly what they are here to do, and be.
Not me; not mine.
So I got into a long to/fro with this person, that served to drive me into a deep exploration and explanation of who I AM, and what I’m here to DO and BE in this expression that is my life. This was an intense process, an intense deep-dive into my soul and psyche, and an intense “pulling up” of inner resources to effectively explain all this to this person. What I was “invited” to do had an oppressive, virtually choiceless, energy signature about it: the energy of slavery is what came up strongly for me.
This situation was an extraordinary exercise of self-definition, and it was anything but “black and white,” because in actuality, I do owe this person. I have a debt with this person. At least, in this life this is the case. Hence the heavy “almost choiceless” feeling here. If I could zoom out into other timelines, it might be that what happened here could be that this person was repaying something to me. Someday maybe we’ll know the bigger picture.
Moreover, one of my personal practices in recent months has been trying to let go of the belief in karma altogether! We are in a different quantum field now. Every moment, every beat of NOW throbs with its OWN POTENTIAL to express in its highest, most benevolent way, unencumbered with the burdens of the past, created in a system of enslavement to forces we haven’t even been aware of until fairly recently.
I renounce the chains, the weights, the falsely-allowed limitations placed on my soul as of this instant and from here forth.
And – it’s still hard to say no to a proposition, even one so very wrong for you, especially when there is this slate that begs to be cleared in some way. The way this person wanted it to happen was just not remotely possible to me. It wasn’t “morally wrong,” it was just an incredibly wrong activity for me. It would essentially be quicksand to my spirit. But it can be tricky to really get clear and be clear when situations are NOT so clear!
SO: I had to do a lot of “getting clear” re who I AM, what is MINE TO DO in this life, and what is not. Much of this is obvious to us. Some is not easy to own. And there can seem to be no end to it once you start scrounging around for resolve. It can morph into a paradox.
A spiritual teacher was confronted once about how she could see a particular hardship in the world (homelessness I think it was) and not do whatever it took to try to rectify it. This woman had a following; she had her particular expressions of service. This particular situation, she recognized, was not her work.
Spiritual people often take on this “must save the world; must heal all the suffering; must purify the planet” etc… but can one person do it all? Of course not (unless we want to perceive ourselves as a fractal of the Great Hologram, in which case we’d have a whole other conversation here!).
We each arrive in these little “outfits we wear” (bodies) with a particular set of gifts, talents, interests… and those are our skill set, or tool set, to work with while here. There’s of course plenty of “wiggle room” in which we do certain things we don’t particularly enjoy, to accomplish another goal (like pay the rent for instance!). “Keeping the peace” is another incentive to do something against preference – but building energy around showing up in ways that are out of alignment with yourSELF does not bode well for future “unfoldment of events.”
Notions of “karma” aside, the quantum field will simply attract events that resonate with the focus of your attention. It sounds so simple, and in ways it is… but when much of your life has been one form of ‘sacrifice’ after another (sacrificing what you want or who you are to eek out income doing something altogether else), then that becomes your habit and your trajectory… and ALL YOU SEE for yourself after a while.
This is a big deal and potentially a high hurdle to leap.
We are in the bridge between worlds right now. We have all the old ways of being that we grew up and built lives in. This shift will increasingly demonstrate the implosion of all the false constructs we’ve entertained, and some of it will be hard to take. It will become increasingly “hard out there for a pimp,” to quote an Oscar-winning song.
The time of selling our souls has expired. Just identifying your “soul of souls” can be sort of shocking before the full illumination and celebration can be ignited!
Meanwhile… the day before yesterday this matter (or this “chapter” of this matter, involving my standing in my truth and saying this “work” was not mine to do) was resolved, at this level, anyway.
Yesterday was phenomenal.
I arose in the morning with a sense of such alignment and coherence, I felt I had been through a major soul retrieval. In that space, I had the most powerful “talk with the universe” I may have ever had in my life.
I declared who I AM. Loudly.
I renounced who I’m not. Equally as loud. (The screaming during the repeated closet-rod failure helped clear my throat chakra! :D)
I declared myself open and receptive to Souce-level inspiration and support for my particular service in this world – the work that IS MINE TO DO – that I can do well, that would make the difference that I AM here to make.
I called all ‘orphaned parts’ of my soul back to me to join in the joy of becoming whole again.
It was incredibly powerful.
Then for the rest of the day, I viscerally felt my cells vibrating with higher frequencies, and my solar plexus actually seemed to have its own CMEs flaring all around it! This was quite an amazing sensation – and realization.
This morning I watched a video from someone I’ve shared here before. Synchronistically, she speaks to some of what I’ve been experiencing, as I imagine many readers have, as well. Tune in if you choose: