A few things on my mind this morning that I’d like to share re: healing, including a handful of the more or less infinite ways it can happen.
The “Requesting Help Quandary”
Yesterday I posted an open request for financial support re: a medical condition I’ve lived with for years. (I find asking for money an extremely difficult ordeal, certainly not conducive to survival! I seriously need to get over it.)
Those who pitched in received personal responses (except one, which bounced – I’m talking to you, dear ‘counterculture’!). Some of the emails I received also were very touching, and healing. Money, until a better system comes along, is essential… but heartful connection brings a whole other level of healing to the picture. It’s been very nice to hear from those who’ve taken the time to share a bit of yourselves in writing. Thank you. (My “adventures with cardiology” btw continues tomorrow with some tests.)
A Visitor from Long Ago
An unexpected but powerful (initiatory, even) nudge-to-healing came courtesy of a recent dream visit from the cat I grew up with! Long time, no see, sweet kitty!
Sadly, though, her appearance was not a joyful one. Quite the opposite, in fact… which gave me much to contemplate, work with, and begin to heal.
One does not have to be an animal lover to glean value from the following vignette. It applies universally.
This cat – I’ll just call her Kitty here – lived to be 18. She came to us when I was about seven years old. She endured a lot, I think, looking back. I didn’t have the capacity to relate to her as the precious being she was (as are all animals, I realize now in my awakened awareness).
Also, she – like myself – lived in a house full of “big people.” I was a late surprise addition to the family; my two brothers were in their rowdy teen years by then; my parents’ troubled marriage was hanging by a tattered thread, and my mother’s mother lived there as well – a grim presence she was, unfortunately. She groused that I should keep poor Kitty in the dank basement! Unthinkable! (“Playing in the grass” and “playing with boys” were unacceptable to her as well. erf! However, I was not a frilly, subdued girly-girl and pretty much did childhood my own way.)
Point being: a rather dense atmosphere of unhappiness peppered with loud conflicts and teen angst were pressed into a small house in a big city.
And two sensitive little girls – myself and Kitty – soaked it up, energetically.
Fast-forward 18 years. I’m back in town after being away at college. One day I go to my parents’ house and… no sign of Kitty. No Kitty dishes; no Kitty litter box. Obviously and to my shock, Kitty had been terminated. A rare emotional tangle with my mother ensued over this – me yelling that I could have taken the cat in if they didn’t want her anymore. They just brought her to a vet and had the deed done. Kitty’s main offense seemed to be that she got “old & in the way”; she had no illness that I was aware of.
Fast-forward again, to Kitty’s sudden appearance to me in the dreamtime after all these decades – seeming quite pathetic, and disturbing as hell to me. I reflected on her end of that life’s experience… living all those years, not particularly cared about or truly seen… then suddenly and unceremoniously dismissed; destroyed.
So many pets are “just there” in a house, and not regarded as the sentient, feeling souls they actually are… this is changing as humans wake up, but still, many animals are given very short shrift.
Kitty’s poignant visit served to activate a deep journey for me. I spent time in communion with her the following day, attending to her with love and respect that she sadly didn’t receive when she was alive. I spoke to her from my heart, and escorted her to a happy place at long, long last in Summerland, where animals can enjoy lounging in the sun & playing with happy companions in green fields. Poor Kitty was so long overdue for this acknowledgment and celebration – abandoned and stuck for decades in a dismal astral zone.
Such a wake-up call.
Endings & Beginnings & Your Point of Power: Now
At this juncture in time my entire family is deceased, along with numerous other “significants” in my life. After my visit with Miss Kitty, I moved on to have “heart-to-hearts” with all of them. Even “Gramma.” I spoke; I honored. I practiced Ho’oponopono. I cried a river. Light beamed & blazed.
It was cathartic.
I wholeheartedly recommend to anyone who’s lost anyone – of any species, even a beloved tree! – to enter a space of deep silence, then bring forward each and every one of them for an intimate sharing of memories, joys, regrets, prayer, gratitude, and forgiveness. And release. Liberate. Stretch!
Important: save the best for last – yourself. Sit with yourself at various ages, in various circumstances, and honor, hug, hold, love, and forgive yourself. Deeply. Profoundly. You will be renewed! In the current, high-powered energies of transmutation & manifestation, the results will be nothing short of miraculous.
I promise you, you’ll be entering 2016 shinier than you’ve been in ages. And the heavens will sing.
Re: the Second Kitty…
The “second” kitty alluded to in the title is primarily my current “alpha girl” (of three cats living here), but in actuality I’ve had loving, telepathic rapport with all my pets since Kitty. The cat I adopted in college lived to be 22. That big boy stayed close by me through something like 16 moves, thousands of road miles, numerous housemates, boyfriends, and a husband. That feline was a true soul mate.
So is my current “top cat.” To look into her eyes is to gaze into a deep pool of coherent, loving sentience. Seriously. (I sometimes wonder if she might actually be my above-mentioned boy, reincarnated. She chose me at the shelter, and was so happy, immediately, to be in my home.)
My other two are also, of course, dearly loved, and having them here for – gosh – about 4 years now has been an ongoing exercise in inter-species relationship-deepening. My sense is that these two siblings were born of feral parentage; their DNA didn’t have human love recorded into it before I came along and “fostered” them. Couldn’t give them up.
Anyway. Lots about lost loved ones on my mind lately. Feeling much better about our relationships, which never die. Healing carries on through and across the veil and the universe. Every bit of good will serves the healing of All.