Right Use of Will – Part 1


I have so much on my mind relative to this matter of *will,* this post took on a will of its own and began growing too long too fast! So this will be the first of two,  maybe even three, parts. I’ve realized in recent months that so many  situations needing healing trace back to this matter of will and how various people tend to use theirs, so discussing it seemed the thing to do.

12079093_585546311577044_5488261042106871422_nWill has actually been a theme of ongoing learning for me, my entire life. As a little girl growing up in a male-dominated family of “dramatic big people,” I lived amid strong-willed yang energy blasting regularly at high volume. Willful battles featuring loud, demeaning exchanges between my father and brothers were routine. Verbal abuse was the arsenal, with the target’s self-esteem firmly fixed in the cross-hairs. This was apparently my father’s misguided, old-school idea of how to dominate and control his kids… including me, too, when my teens years came along.

As you can imagine, what this accomplished was interpersonal alienation, hard feelings, and troubled relationships – not only within the family, but beyond it as well. And as much as I really hate to admit it, I also became skilled at verbal evisceration if pushed far enough. I can’t remember the last time I’ve actually let loose like that, but I can think of a couple of likely scenarios! It pains me to even think that there were times I felt so raw that I’d lash out with such acidic intention. When not managing will properly, a typical outcome for me was to let someone push and push with their bullying behavior until I’d finally explode in exactly the wrong way.

Anyone relate?

The hurtful willful attack on someone is like the terrible practice of “breaking” a horse (or dog, or any animal – or person!) by “breaking” its spirit into submission. The results are similar, regardless the specie: a broken, angry, resentful, distorted, oppressed, love-starved being, uncertain how genuine bonding works, because there’s been no foundation built for trust in life. Ugly, ugly business.

I’ve been portraying a typically dysfunctional family here, but when we zoom our lens out to include the shockingly dysfunctional, violent cultures spanning the globe – we’ve got nothing short of big, deep damage in all directions.

I hope these posts will bring to light how – often unconsciously – we might be exerting inappropriate willfulness over others, or – conversely – allowing others to overly dominate our relationships, be they personal, professional, or whatever the connection. The goal of course is to find the happy balance that is neither bulldozer nor doormat. Will and soul walk the same bridge together; harmony between them is key.

In this free-will system, it’s our privilege and responsibility to engage our individual wills honorably. This takes consciousness. It takes establishing the habit of monitoring how we feel in the present, and determining how to proceed in this awareness, with the intention to create or maintain peace, compassion, open-hearted connection, and the like.

Certain forms of willpower might be admired as necessary for achievement – “She’s such a go-getter!” – while willful demonstrations often are not (“He’s sucking all the oxygen out of the room!”) In part 2 we’ll look at common variations of these themes in everyday circumstances.

If I’ve been feeling the nudge to write about it here, perhaps it will serve you in some of your communications with others… and yourself!

Love to you… Whitehawk


Any amount helps and is most appreciated.
Thank you for your acknowledgment!

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4 comments on “Right Use of Will – Part 1

  1. How much more does Source/Creator need to experience of this Free Will as the consciousness already knows how all things are played out in this game of Free Will.Most of Human Beings have No remembrance of past lives or even why we really needed to have Free Will except for the Ego’s to play a game of chess.As more of the Humans are awakened to full Consciousness and the veil is lifted and we are retrained for another round of something different if our contracts with Source/Creator were not fulfilled. In this physical human form we have to have an Ego to survive there’s no getting around it.

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  2. Yes, I noticed that some time back how important Motherhood is to the children, because the ripple is far and deep if that bond is broken from trust and the nurturing that is so very needed. I kept meeting men with intimacy issues aka they hated their Mothers. And the ripple goes on because it was surely done to them when they were kids. The ego is a trickster, it’s a drama maker, a karma maker, and we definitely need an EGO 2.0 and wondered if the Creator has will or an ego. If you believe the Bible stories and that God does have an ego and will as everyone is to bend to it…the ultimate parent of humanity and the will of a God. I can’t imagine a creator or infinite being having a will to control everyone which is why it has run amuck, or we just need an upgrade,…that is if we are to continue this game because of the cycles on the wheel, and never gets anywhere but resets and starts over, like a broken record. If we strive to balance between the will of ourselves and the will of God, and the will of others, and don’t try to control it, hop off the wheel, and be and do and be and do, in this crazy world…BE a DOOBEE and upgrade the trickster to magician.

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