Choosing a New Start

This message is from Selacia.  Because I consider it a fitting message (bright and practical) to end a year, I’m posting it here.  A link to the author’s site is at the end.  Blessings~  W

A new cycle is about to begin. People in every corner of the world are moving into juxtaposition in order to take part in a quantum leap in consciousness.   If you have felt that you are in waiting mode, or that you have had a setback, remember the massive amounts of preparations you and others are making and have made. Put away your linear yardstick. Acknowledge that there is an accumulation of efforts involved, and sometimes your human self doesn’t see the whole picture. To be sure, your efforts are individual, yet they are also cooperative as great numbers of people wake up and begin to connect energetically to create positive changes.

Your catalyzing life event could have been losing a job, experiencing a financial reversal, moving to a new place, divorcing your partner, facing a debilitating illness, or experiencing some other major change in circumstance. Any one or a number of these could have stirred a deep inner discontent and questioning of things you never before questioned. When this happens, it’s really a nudge from your soul, waking you up and guiding you to travel the path of spirit.

In today’s upheaval, people are oftentimes receiving what may appear to be more than one wake up call simultaneously. Also, people can have supplemental wake up calls a long time after their initial one.

Meaning of Wake Up Calls

If either of these is your situation, consider the following. First, the typical progression from wake up call to full awakening is anything but usual these days. You live in very different times, never before seen on the planet.

Humanity and the Earth are ascending, in a process that is leading to a more enlightened existence. You and others like you on the path of Light are creating a brand new way to co-exist and be. You did not have the same opportunities for awakening in earlier lifetimes.

Likewise, before this life you did not share the planet with so many people, nor was it possible for such a significant shift in consciousness to occur for the masses. Your wake up call, then, in the previous life had a different meaning, scope and potential impact.

Your Soul is Preparing You for Success

The second factor is this. Wake up calls in modern times are the soul’s way of preparing you to succeed on your path of Light during humanity’s shift. Your first one tends to set the stage for what follows.

If you pay attention to the first one, taking the opportunity to assess your life and noticing the nudges of your soul, you are redirected to a different course. How you respond to that redirection, and what actions you take, help to determine your forward spiritual progression.

As an example, if you respond to your soul’s nudges with an attitude of willingness and acceptance, your road ahead will have fewer bumps. The learned tendency, of course, is to resist change and to want to maintain the status quo.

When you are in resistance, you are likely to be blocked from receiving your inner guidance from spirit. The guidance is there, but you cannot access it. Instead, you may simply feel anger and alienation. These responses can leave you feeling disempowered and a victim of your outer circumstances.

The Process of Awakening Continue reading

Swing Shift

It is the morning of the last day of 2008.  The last few weeks have been for me a furious flurry of shifts in action.  I feel I’m ‘swinging’ in the very essence of ‘shift’ in every moment, which brought the phrase ‘swing shift’ to mind.  Swing shift traditionally refers to a kind of work schedule that is in constant flux among “shifts,” ie: ’round the dial, ’round the week, possibly ’round an entire worklife.  Swing-shift laborers have to grab sleep when possible, often when the world around them is a cacophonous roar of activity. Just mentioning this lest the concept is unfamiliar to you, and also… to offer a moment of acknowledgment to the millions of workers who’ve endured this lifestyle to keep their families fed and warm.  

I’m sensing my own recent shifts to be harbingers of a much Bigger Shift careening my way.  Here is how my year is closing out (tech matters leapt to the forefront):

  • PC crashed, leaving me with a bare-bones system while pondering how to proceed re: this crucial tool.  
  • With loss of hard drive, a huge amount of data went pfft as well.  In the moment not a crisis, but for a writer who stashes all manner of resources and records and writings for future use (to dig up when it could feed a piece I’m working on, like a squirrel digs up those buried nuts in hungry times), the loss is formidable.
  • Puzzle, puzzle, what to do??  Finally took the plunge and “stimulated the economy” (as people say these days in defense of their purchases) by buying a Macbook Pro.  Besides needing a reliable computer, I need mobility.  Also mobile podcast-ability.  Migrating to Apple seemed right.

Aside from the computer issues dominating the lifescape…

I’ve taken steps to bring some personal boundary issues under control.  Some days I wonder just how MUCH this has affected things around here, ie, could unsticking some of that business have unleashed the “force” around me to the degree of so much “greased lightning” energy?  (A recent kundalini revival among other things.) What I did, in a snapshot, is, disconnect from a dysfunctional association, and immediately following that, perform a deep and forceful energetic purge of my space, which included the sealing of a known astral ‘portal’ (possibly numerous portals) I’ve had in my home. 

Can’t say I completely understand the nature of “portals” like this, and also, I didn’t want to chase off any celestials or ascendeds who are TRUE ALLIES. True “higher-up” allies are beings who interact with you ONLY in a manner that supports your highest good.  NO MANIPULATING, no energetic DRAINAGE for their own self-serving purposes.  I’d been an unwitting host for various “sucking” entities in my world (and sucking comes in many guises, some of which can seem pleasant in the moment), and had to pull that plug!  I’m not a bottomless energy-providing DEVICE for various vampiric entities, am I???  Of course not; although to some degree, I apparently was.  ~As can anyone be if not paying close attention, and really tuning in to how one really feels when around (or immediately following being around) a certain person, or place.  It behooves us to PAY ATTENTION to what we are feeling, and when! Do we feel energized or sucker-punched after dealing with someone or something?    

BTW, also pay attention to your DREAMS, and write them up in as much detail as you can recall.  Give them titles, footnotes and sidebars as you document them… as they hold a wealth of wisdom for you to GET if you just watch, listen, record, and decipher with your intuitive faculties. Try “mind-mapping” them if you aren’t much of a writer.  Just don’t neglect them.  They hold riches from your soul; information screaming to be heard!

Immediately after reclaiming my ground, so to speak, a very interesting thing happened regarding my precious little Maya–one of my two cats.  For a full year, Maya had been exhibiting a most disturbing behavior around the house.  Suffice it to say, she challenged me to the extent of anguish–chronically.  My heart was breaking at the thought that I might have to give her up (as people were advising), which was just unimaginable to me, and absolutely unacceptable as a solution.  My commitment to an animal I adopt is permanent.  I consulted psychics and animal communicators; I prayed; I tried to communicate with Maya to understand her issue.  The behavior kept coming — until I stood up for my OWN BOUNDARIES here, that is.  As soon as I did this, Maya’s dreadful “hobby” stopped instantly and permanently! Turns out, Maya was doing all she could–quite dramatically, and in her own “language”–to bring the seriousness of my breached boundaries to my attention.  That whole year-long drama was an amazing ordeal.  If you have animals behaving strangely around you, I suggest you take a serious inventory of yourself, as chances are the animal is mirroring something in YOU that you need to see and address.

Other little end-of-year tidbits include~

  • I am now on my second edit (and second editor) of my strange adventures with kundalini (Special K: Energy of Champions).  (My secret working title; a pet term I coined for kundalini, and enjoy tossing around on occasion :)  Most of the edits I can live with; some are quite good. Others make me wonder where I’m missing the boat re: making myself understood.  So I’m rethinking a few things currently.  But overall feeling happy about my High Strangeness being put forth by a publisher I’ve held in high regard for a long time.
  • Got a new hairstyle, and am enjoying it… relieved it worked out!! (Bit of girl biz ;)
  • Have a vase of lovely white roses to behold as I peer over the screen of this uber-sexy Macbook; a “double vision” of things to appreciate, and a nice energy to bring into the new year… 
  • And of all the hub-bub of heightened activities and energies and *things* this holiday season, my fondest gift to bring to mind is that of some recent riotous laughter!  I used to laugh so much more than I do of late. Laughter is humor’s version of climax~ one of my wishes for us all is that we bring one another more reason to LAUGH together.  Not just smile; not just snicker — LAUGH, full-out, until breathless and teary-eyed.  Roaring good medicine!

If I don’t come back with another post by the turn of the year… may any distress or pain be alleviated, and light, love, and juicy goodness prevail in the year ahead.

Blessings, all~



Beauty constantly wells up, a noise of springwater
In my ears and in my inner being.


Stuck in Neutral (part 1)

Frozen Assets

A patient reader has been asking about a certain theme for a while now (this is for you, friend in Belgium!) – the matter of being STUCK. We’re not talking about a minor inconvenience, i.e., a few days pass without the big “aha” you need to bring your current project to completion, or even accessing the inspired juice to get it started in the first place. Not an optimal predicament, when income depends on your delivering the goods; also not likely an “end of the world” issue, either.

The stuckness I will endeavor to address here is the kind that can keep us frozen in place for months, even years, on end… with still no clue appearing on the horizon as to what we “should” be doing. I’m aware of many in this weird boat without a rudder. This is also a torment that I personally know all too well; it came upon me immediatelygears_clockwork following what was arguably the most profound and luminous experience of my life: a kind of “grand finale” absorption into a field of living light, following years of living with active kundalini. To this day I wonder WHY things happened the way they did; I have yet to reach the part of the script that reveals all the answers! (More of my personal story relative to this theme is offered in the post, Kundalini: Not a Game, which is how “part 2” of this post eventually manifested.)

Profound stuckness involves a disorientation and immobility, quite possibly to the point of being frightening, especially when you have responsibilities to fulfill, and relationships to maintain – and who doesn’t? It is as though your inner compass just… loses all resonance with any semblance of north — or any direction for that matter. Nothing seems to be magnetizing anything—how can it be, when “reality” is based on magnetic energies??! (Sidebar: Planetary magnetics are changing, profoundly! The little crystals in our pituitaries that tend to keep us oriented within the energies of the matrix are probably undergoing reprogramming in response to these changes. Crystals DO reprogram according to their environs…) Not only might nothing motivate you; you may barely be able to connect with anything, in form or consciousness, longer than a few seconds of ticking time. It can feel like being unplugged from life itself – life as we’ve always experienced it, that is. Incidentally, I am *not* talking about depression, as much as the above description may resemble depression.  No; depression is another thing. (I know both; neither is fun, but this stuckness does not have the lingering signature of sadness.)

My effort to discuss this topic may seem wobbly, and some ideas may not be appreciated by all, particularly those who choose to cling to the notion that the material world is the only “real” world there is. Nonetheless, I am here to beam out my truth – on the planet, in this life, as well as in this blog! Same goes for everyone; one size/shape/color/flavor does not suite all. If these missives aren’t for you, go forth and “unfold your own myth,” as Rumi wisely advises in the previous post.

First off: something beyond hyoooge is in progress; something of intergalactic measure and significance. At levels our conscious minds can’t even grok, we are deep into processing many thousands of years of lifetimes and their karma (among other things currently going on behind the scenes), NOW. We are at the end of one age and the beginning of another, and the incoming one will bear precious little resemblance to what we’ve known for eons of time. I’m speaking about an ascending planet now… being vibrationally recalibrated to an extent to which all life upon it must shift – literally & physically, not just in our thoughts – up into a totally Other spectrum of existence. This is a massive epoch; if you don’t know what I’m talking about… well… I don’t know how you found your way HERE, for one thing… but if you are interested to learn more, you might start searching some of the terms listed in the tags and category clouds to the right of the blog here.>>> My point is, an assimilation is going on now, at levels we can’t fathom. The (formerly coherent) energy which IS US is being fragmented through so many prisms, systems, filters, dimensions, lifetimes, frequencies, etc etc… it’s NO WONDER that focusing on—or even identifying—a mundane goal or task, or even registering a flicker of interest in something ordinarily palatable can be next to impossible. This is like having ADD amplified to the Nth!

We are in a bridge time currently; literally straddled between two worlds in mid quantum leap.
The one we’ve known for millennia is being dismantled around and THROUGH us. Many of us are engaged in “training” for this transition in other realms; of this I am certain for myself, while also living in a state of trust rather than having concrete proof to back what I say. We are in an unimaginable shift, one that penetrates every plane, sub-plane, and living entity (human, animal, vegetable, mineral… AND any earthbound spirits… speaking of stuck!) in this universe. With so much going on energetically (dismantling a reality -> no trivial pursuit), MANY of us are now orienting more toward this process (often at levels beyond conscious awareness, but impacting us nonetheless) than we are with the vagaries of the mundane, which we no longer really relate to, as we are unplugging from a realm that is fast becoming a vibrational relic.

Imagine your physical self in the 3D world, and then superimpose an image of your energy body being pulled upward into a far nicer existence, and you might get a sense of what I’m talking about. Your lightbody is already plugging in to the New. Eventually it will draw your physical body with it (again, if you choose; it happens to be my unbridled desire to make this move), as the atmosphere around us continues to shift upward into higher, clearer, rarified frequencies and we transmute more and more of our density – which I sense is directly related to how much karmic gunk we continue to hold — possibly manifesting as a major ordeal involving many old issues hitting the fan with force, clamoring for attention and final healing.  This is happening systemically, obviously, as well as personally. Tune in to one of the “year in review” programs on television as 2008 comes to an end; it’s one of the clearest ways to see without a doubt that our structures and systems are coming apart. I mention this not to raise fear, but rather to underscore that we are witnessing the dissolving of much getting plowed under in a great preparation for seeds of The New coming to be sown.

Strange as some of what I say may sound, this is what I see happening, and continuing to happen, long after voices like mine “reporting the news” have become mere redundance; it will be obvious for all to SEE and BE and KNOW. It is becoming more and more obvious. Those who choose not to ride this wave (ie, allow their density to keep pace with the planet’s, which is a matter of choice) will likely simply leave their bodies (die) when the vibrational mismatch hits a certain threshold, and (from what I understand) will probably continue reincarnating in the physical for as long as they “believe” they must. WHERE subsequent incarnations might occur is a big question pondered by many, as earth is heading into a huge cleansing period, and will supposedly “house” a very small fraction of the current population for centuries, while this is period of planetary rest and ‘refresh’ goes on.

All such things considered, is it any wonder that many, many people who tend to ‘vibe’ more toward the spiritual, and are innately more sensitive to energies around them, are feeling deeply disoriented currently, and don’t SEE their next thing? What we are feeling is the very cells of our being vibrating strongly; sometimes in steady “hums,” sometimes in distinct waves... always a very, very palpable sensation that something is “microwaving” our bodies – in this case, in a good way; it’s the influx of these potent energies pouring in from the galactic center, here to trigger this shift. They are REAL, they are divinely driven, and they are AFFECTING us to our depths. At street level, it’s kind of like being yanked from one assignment before being given the next, leaving us in a lurch… at least in a way our conscious minds can understand. What many don’t realize is the massive amount of work going on at other levels, and AT NIGHT, when the body and ego rest. This is when a huge amount of higher-realm training and other work goes on.  It WILL become clear when the timing is correct for us to “get” it; lest we forget, God’s timing is not dictated by clocks and calendars. For now, faith and trust are the tickets to hold.

icebergKeep in mind, your conscious awareness is just the very tip of a massive, trans-dimensional iceberg in a holographic, intergalactic ocean. There are aspects of us that most of us can’t begin to even fathom from our ‘ordinary consciousness’ perspective. I may be a tad more aware of other levels because of my lifelong tendency to travel out-of-body into other realms… which has sort of evolved in more recent years to include a more direct “phasing” from one realm to another, by which I mean, without having to “fly the distance,” it’s more a spontaneous shift of awareness. (I don’t have a lot of control over this, like dialing the phone, at this point! ~It’s just something I’ve noticed happening. I don’t have all the answers at my beck and call!) We are all moving closer to these ‘spiritual abilities,’ tho, and may I iterate yet again, our context is a vast hologram; we can just click in and out of various points within it, with conscious intention to do so… and before long we will all “remember” how!

I’ve had many experiences that point to all of what I say here; I’m not just regurgitating the latest “channel” from wherever. While writing the piece on my kundalini experiences (mentioned in last post), I was amazed by the array of my own adventures, rediscovered when ferreting through journals to dig up vignettes for the book. It adds up to *quite* a story ~ a minute fragment of which can be shared in the piece that will be published. I know: it’s MY story, and no one should swallow everything I (or anyone) says whole, if it doesn’t resonate. I simply share my tales in case they DO.

Back to stuckness: I thought I’d mention a few situations that can contribute to the condition in these rip-roaring (or reality-ripping) times. I will just lay a few ideas out briefly; I’m way into overtime as it is here. But I list the following, for your consideration.

If you’re currently feeling “stuck,” are you… hedging your bets, trying to straddle two situations, while not committing to either? This could be about employment, or absence of same; it could be about a relationship that has energetically expired, or its energy is chronically dragging you down, but you are neither shifting nor releasing it. It could ALSO be about the changes upon us all, currently–the great shift; what side of the fence do you stand on re: this? If you feel the truth of this event in your heart, but your mind rejects it and judges it ridiculous—you could be planting your feet in wet cement (there’s a 3D image ;). It took me a year to start blogging about this stuff; I was concerned about the extreme weirdness factor. Same issue re: having little talks about it around town.  But I finally had to go with my heart, which knows it is happening.  And so far, any little crucifixions I’ve encountered re: my beliefs have been bearable.

Just examples.

Maybe letting it go is how it will heal. Maybe consciously forgiving someone for “doing you wrong” – that someone maybe even being yourself – is the energy that needs to move to unstick you. Look around, take stock. What is holding you back in your daily life? Are you maintaining a comfortable complacency instead of taking a risk at moving yourself toward a beckoning unknown?

This new energy needs clarity; it is a cleansing agent, and a accelerator. It is calling us (hauling us!?) into a state of ever-unfolding synchronicity and flow; that’s what it IS. If we hold onto sticky old stuff, physically or emotionally, when the truth of our heart has been beating the drum to change something, we are obstinately trying to defy divine momentum that has come to move us forward, into a much more expanded, enlightened mode of being.

I’m exhausted; I’ve been planted here all day. Lest you not realize, hours of time goes into writing these posts, even “drafty” ones as this is currently, but I’m posting it anyway; will probably tweak it over the coming days. I will speak more to the matter of stuckness in part 2…  which may or may not happen immediately!

It’s Christmas Week, and solstice today~ perhaps spend the next few days visioning what you really would love to see happening – in your life, and Life on Earth, as an interwoven unit. 2009 will be a riot; the spin on the phrase depends to a large extent on how we collectively proceed! Our collective intentions for peace and light and all the blessings possible on this planet do influence outcomes. The more old crap we cling to (from little grudges and less-than-sincere games all the way through the spectrum to the biggest transgressions), the more cleansing we will be forcing the earth to take on, herself. Let’s all do our parts… and moooove forward!




Don’t be satisfied with poems and
stories of how things
have gone with others.

Unfold your own myth
without complicated explanation,
so everyone will understand

the passage,

W E   H A V E   O P E N E D   Y O U

The Illuminated Rumi
Translation: Coleman Barks


The above excerpt really sent me when I first encountered it in the stunning book, The Illuminated Rumi.  I had been engaged with kundalini for a few years by that point, during which I experienced a plethora of things beyond my previous ability to imagine… until it was happening.  I had undeniably been opened by something far beyond my little self, and a whole other level of my story was certainly unfolding — most of which I didn’t dare speak about, as it so overtly defied typical standards re:  what’s real and what’s possible (doable or be-able) for mere mortals.

I wanted to post this  Rumi poetry for a couple of reasons:

  1. I simply love it.  It reflects what happened when I was visited upon (and opened) by the unimaginable energy which is kundalini.  I could no longer be contained in the context of my former self; those conceptual contours, walls, structures had been dismantled.  A great expansion had begun; there was no stopping it, and the process became all that mattered, for the most part, for the duration.  Active kundalini could be neither deferred nor denied; there was no trying to fake business as usual. There were also so very few people with whom I could relate my avalanche of experiences, which made for bouts of sadness and frustration, and which also provided impetus for my speaking about all of this NOW — to assure others in similar situations that they are not alone. Before this energy kicked in, my life was a continual flow of meetings, teleconferences, and emails; all necessary for event organization, which was my business at the time — creating networking, seminar, and social events for ‘conscious’ professionals.  But there came a tipping point after which that activity had to subside to allow this opening to happen “without complicated explanation” to others, and more to the point, without the constant commotion inherent in constellating and choreographing a stream of events, and all the accompanying  PR such work requires.  My priorities of necessity HAD to shift to the inner planes… so my outer world HAD to become quiet.  Rumi obviously had intimate knowledge of the state I was in; his exquisite expressions attested to this.  And during a time when no one else really “got” me, knowing there was once a Rumi in the world was comforting :)  His words about ‘being opened’ by the gods was a clear reference to the kundalini that spontaneously ignited in him as a result of darshan — a particularly significant meeting he had with a mystic named Shams.  So resonant were their energies, they merged with the Divine in a field of ecstatic union — a state quite out of the ordinary in human experience, and which launched a thousand poetic ships that continue transporting souls to this day, myself among them.    

  2. I’m also posting the excerpt in celebration of my completion of a formidable project — my written account of my kundalini awakening, to be published in 2009!  This was possibly the toughest writing I’ve ever done.   I threw away volumes of drafts,  starting from scratch over and over and over.  Then, when it was *almost complete,* my computer crashed and I LOST that file.  (As I was nearing the finish line, my kundalini re-activated, stirring up a new flurry of physical, paranormal, and electrical commotion, the latter of which blew circuits and my hard drive.) Kundalini, I assure you if you’ve not had this experience yourself, can bring on High Strangeness, in spades — all the while not giving a whit about clocks, calendars, appearances, or other “street-level” concerns;  it will go on and on as it sees fit for as long as it takes to accomplish its mission.  In my case, for various reasons, this took YEARS.  Transmitting years of weirdness (and illumination!) in a reasonably coherent, tightly constrained account was challenging to say the least.  (Space was limited as mine is one of numerous essays on the subject in this book, when it could easily be an epic in its own ‘write’.)  Not to mention — to me this involves intimate exposure of all manner of nonordinary phenomena… which just skims the surface of what went on while I was living it!  So: imagine having myriad super-sensory and out-of-body experiences, on and OFF the planet, with various ‘beings,’ in various dimensions and timelines — with a dollop of sex for good measure — and you might begin to get a sense of the Big Spill I splashed into that writing.  BTW, re: the Rumi quote ~ I had wanted to include it in the book, but could not obtain permission to do so, so I’m using it here in the blog (still without permission), as consolation.  It inspired my writing; I want to honor Rumi for having composed it!

    In short — I wrote my kundalini story;
    the editor responded with great enthusiam;
    so **Hallelujah** warbles Whitehawk,
    wings flapping in joy (and relief)


    (Hopefully my effusion isn’t too over the top ;)

Changing Face

Some are wondering what the deal is re: my avatar; it keeps changing!  Thought I’d tell ya, I have NO IDEA!  WordPress recently launched a new version, and when that happened, this alternate image of myself started appearing.  It switches with my “official” avatar (the blue one, with eyes closed) seemingly of its own accord.  I’ve gone to the dashboard to reinstate the blue one twice now, but the gods seem to like the other one to have equal exposure.  The white one (eyes open) is the one displayed as I write this.  Just another “head’s up” that we are shifting!?!? Or, it’s time to awaken? Curious things go on…

Love ~ or Addiction?

heartinhands1The following, adapted from The Path to Love by Deepak Chopra, resonated so I thought I’d post it here.  The subject  ‘rings’ for me, because when I look back at various significant relationships, prevailing energies often seemed more along the lines of addiction; need; obsession; desire to control or possess… and other such forms of  ‘connection’ in lieu of love.  ~All par for life on earth with its various confusions & distortions as we try to have authentic relationships while also endeavoring to get our (often complicated,  often unconscious) needs met.

So, even though I sort of went off on a tangent beyond this Chopra excerpt,  I’m going ahead and posting it as a gentle nudge to consider — as the year winds down and we reflect on our lives — the ways in which we relate.  (Or how we’re related to, as — on some level — we attract the vibrational response to signals we are emitting, regardless how oblivious to this we may [want to] be.)  Besides considering love vs. attachment, women in particular might also consider the essence of surrender (ie, into the expansive, sacred space of love) vs. submission (ie, to a partner’s expectations at the expense of one’s self; an energetic contraction)… and men might consider their use of power (as in, the power of the shining soul) vs coercion or intimidation when negotiating relationships with women.

And:  I *will* actually be posting here again very soon; I’ve been in an intimate relationship with a deadline lately… oxo ~W

Is Attachment Really Love?

The path to love doesn’t end with surrender, although in a way there is nothing more to do. The process of letting go is all that spirit needs in order to enter your life. The rest is a ripening of the union between self and Self.

There is, however, still the enormous issue of how two people can surrender to each other completely. No matter how much love you begin to feel within, you must still reflect it to your beloved. Two spiritual people living together don’t automatically make a spiritual relationship. Therefore we want to ask in practical terms how love increases between two souls. The ego is not easily defeated in its preoccupation with everything but love.

Surrender is not achieved until you surrender completely to your beloved. To accomplish this you must relinquish everything that deprives you of love and nurture everything that comes from love.

One way that people deprive themselves of love is especially confusing because it seems to be a way to increase it: This is attachment. In its mildest form attachment is the desire to be with someone special. Even in preadult forms attachment has two sides–it both includes and excludes. Adult relationships carry attachment to a deeper level, but the exclusivity remains.

Love and attachment are not the same thing. Love allows your beloved the freedom to be unlike you. Attachment asks for conformity to your needs and desires. Love imposes no demands. Attachment expresses an overwhelming demand: “Make me feel whole.” Love expands beyond the limits of two people. Attachment tries to exclude everything but two people.

Yet attachment has a deeper spiritual meaning. It represents an attempt to reach unity by merging with another soul.

Adapted from The Path to Love, by Deepak Chopra (Three Rivers Press, 1997).